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It has been so many years, yet I still can't seem to find a way to overcome my weakness. I guessed the first time I had ever felt that way when I was in standard two. It might be a small matter to my parents, but not for a mind of an 8 year old little girl. Instead of trying to get help, I gave in. It's a wonder that my parents still didn't find out. Though my weakness still occur from time to time, I feel that it is turning worse since I started college as I'm still going through it everyday, lying to myself as well as to my friends. I just want the whole thing to end soon! I'm getting tired and sick of doing this everyday. I seriously dunno why I can't just do the damn thing. It's not that hard, considering just 2 hours a day. Okay, more than 2.

*****

TnG card, handphone, and now my pendrive. Is someone cursing me or something? The TnG card, fine.. I can still accept it. My handphone, fine.. is my very last of losing something. My pendrive, I broke down. Maybe because no one ( as in family and friends ) was beside me that time, or maybe because I've been keeping everything to myself all the time. I was alone in college after LAN which was at 5pm. Most of them went back, and the rest played basketball. I wanted to blog in the lab, since I can nvr do it at home anymore. So, I hung around in college for awhile. That's when the time I realized my pendrive was gone. I knew where I left it, so I went back there. But clearly, it was gone. I was in a rush when I wanted to print my draft for English research. So i just set it into the side of the LCD screen, opened my file, printed it, and left the lab. That was the last time I saw it. Just yesterday my friend lost his, but for me, it sounded like a small matter. So no hard feelings WH. But somehow, only you can feel the pain if u are THE ONE losing it. No matter how hard the others tries to sympathize you, it's NO way they can really feel what you are actually feeling. I guessed that goes the same as my Chinese skill as well. I hate feeling like an outsider. While others can talk and laugh happily, I'll be the one feeling moody. Like I said, they do understand, yet it is just NOT them okay. I might be going a little overboard with this. Sweat.

So, back to just now. I went to a side corridor in my college, sat on the stairs, and bawled. I was crying like mad. I wasn't only thinking bout the pendrive, Yeah.. my updated research project and all my computer science assignments were in there. How the hell am I gonna get it back? But that didn't really concern me that much. It's more to what my parents had gone through to buy me one. Not just the money, but the effort to find the best one for me as well. I really owed my dad a lot. Failing my exams, buying unnecessary stuffs, studying in college, losing things and so on. Anywayz, a security guard saw me. I dunno why I said sorry but.. I rmb him saying "nvm nvm, you can stay here". He's so nice. Then I went back.. around 6.10pm. Haha.. I called jin as well. That's the only num I can rmb. Fyi, she forced me to, during secondary last time. I dunno what the hell I was crapping to her. I wanted to say so many things, but words just wouldn't come out.

*****

I regretted not saying something during Moral Studies. It's only once in a lifetime and I blew it. So wasted. Hahaha.

Countdown

I lost my other half.
I f***ing lost part of myself. It was certainly a bad start to end year 2007 without it. I feel naked. It's like sitting for a Maths test without a calculator, or having a computer without the software. There is no need for me to describe the feeling of losing something precious...the feeling of getting hold of that stupid person for stealing it...the feeling of revenge. I should have assumed a lot of unexpected circumstances would occur when I risked bringing it along. It is easier to point fingers at others, but it wasn't their fault. So, what's done is done. And talking about it, my parents did not blame me for losing it at all. Not even a word. No matter what happen, I still have to pay back my debts. I can't just depend on them right? To start off, I have to spend less in college I guess. Haha.

• I've finally gotten the time to blog on this. And I am surrounded by my family members 24 hours since they came back. I can't even have a private moment by myself to do my own personal stuffs. It's highly dangerous to have something hidden from them. As for now, they are all upstairs, leaving me behind with the computer. I just need some peace!~~

• Well, my college starts next week. Hopefully things won't get rough all over like the previous semester. I just want an easy life. But it ain't gonna be that easy. Not to forget my finals will be on June and then I will be off to university. I hope to have my wish fulfilled, something which didn't happen previously. Just get over it and be done with it!

Okay, back to the last day of year 2007, I went to Queen's Park with part of animal family. It was my first time there, and we were a little lost, my sis and I. They have sooooo many shops over there, yet there is nothing much to buy. It has always been like this, wherever I go. I did buy something, thanks to my sis. The clothes there were cheaper than usual, which is great~ In the end, we went off separately. Jin went for bbq at beaver's friend's house while Jan and KL joined SJ at her Sunday school.

As for my sis and I, we both went to Pavilion to have dinner with Nicole. That night itself, we also met up with Lin and Ann at Starhill Gallery's toilet. We couldn't find them at first, as Lin was asking to meet at the lounge. Hmm, it wasn't Shook or whatever that place is, but it was somewhere I wasn't familiar with. Basically, we met them in the toilet. Fate had brought us there together. Lol. After doing our business, we headed to Sg Wang. I cant anyhow say that Bb was a bad place to countdown, coz I seriously had fun over there. One of the best countdown ever too! Omg, I couldn't even stop thinking about it the next day. It was kind of awkward at the beginning. Well, it was coz not many were spraying at each other yet. Another reason was, both of us, Ann and I lost something valuable, or a better word... stolen!

There was one area which was packed with ppl, so as for us females, we focused more on our assets, feared of getting molested rather than paying attention on something else. A whole group of guys, they looked more like foreigners, were pushing/going near our row. A girl in front of us shouted all of a sudden, "I lost my ****". Then came Ann, "I lost my ***". Lastly, myself. "Omg Yoong, I lost my ****". It was professionally done okay, and you can't even feel anything. Somehow, girls have their own instincts. I could just sense that it was gone. Guess what I did? I grabbed hold of the person I suspected that stole mine. However, I let it go when I saw it wasn't. I don't know why I did that, but it was sort of tindakan refleks. Get what I mean?

We then went into the side entrance. It happened really fast and it was all real blur. Queen's Park seemed ages ago when it was only few hours ago. I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything. Compared to Ann, I was totally opposite. Unintentionally, I was tearing up a little out there when I was talking to my sis. I was saying, "Yoong, I lost my phone Yoong" repeatedly. I felt my tears started welling up. Lin was looking at me. The more she looked, the more I wanted to cry. Before, Lin was asking me, "How come you don't have reaction wan ar?" Lol, I seriously don't know how to answer that. Maybe I was just slower than them. All I knew was, I wanted revenge. I wanted to do something to get back on them. I felt like knocking that person's **** with the spray we bought. Well, my sis..she was cursing a lot. She hated them more than me! We couldn't do anything about it anyway. The only way to overcome it was to have the night of our life.

Yoongs was asking us to spray the suspects. She started with a Malay guy. To her, he looked like a molester or a thief, so she sprayed right in his eyes. Accidentally. I was like, "Omg Yoong, you kena his eyes lar!" I think she panicked, she asked Lin and Ann to walk as fast as possible to the front. Lucky for her, he didn't chase us. So, like I said in the beginning, we weren't really keen on spraying others. We really got it going when a group of guys sprayed at us. While we were trying to avoid them, my sis went straight to the culprit, and sprayed him right on the face. We were all laughing like mad.. coz she was so damn funny. Haha! It didn't make any difference having polices there to guard people like us. The ppl themselves sprayed at the polices. Who could have controlled such a big crowd? We ourselves had gone crazy playing. Oh, somebody even tapped me at the shoulder, and when I turned around, he sprayed directly at my face. What the heck? I think he was feeling guilty, coz I was looking down and pushing the foam away from my eyes. But, the whole night was just crazy. and super fun!!! Omg, I love it so much!! I even saw one of the VIPS there. He called me, "Yen yen!". I couldn't figure out who was it at first. Fortunately, I did rmb.

Anyway, things gotten out of hand after awhile, that was just my opinion. Lin's hair even got pulled by someone coz she sprayed at him. The area was just full of so-called snow flakes. People were spraying from the escalator, the ppl in the center got sprayed like mad. I don't know y the girls still wanted to dress so lala. Why do they want to dress like that when they know they were about to be sprayed? My sis asked us not to spray at those girls, she assumed that it was what they wanted. Talking about the event, I just loved everything, but I got a little tired after some time. I really didnt want to get sprayed anymore. I kept wanting to keep side but my sis was like.. "Bi, I'm wearing white lar". Yes, it was raining quite heavily. By 11.30pm, I was really tired. I wanted to go home, and didn't want to stay till midnight. So my sis followed me while Lin and Ann stayed back for the countdown. All I wanted that time was fresh air. That's it. Nothing else. Just when we were about to run to the opposite, one group of ppl sprayed at all of us and shouted "Happy New Year!!!". What the heck? We ran away from that place.. finishing the last remaining of the spray by doing it to the ppl at the escalator. I had so much fun and I loved every part of it.

My sis and I thought things would get better when we sat the train to Titiwangsa. We reached about 12am without even realizing it was 2008 already. We waited... and waited.. and waited... Many ppl were looking at us. Who wouldn't? We looked hideous. Hahaha. We met a few hamsap Malays and Banglas as well. I was really tired as we had waited so long for the bus. Slowly, the ppl at the bus stop were getting less and less. It was already 2 something at that time. Can u imagine that? We waited freaking long. Thank god thank god we didn't sit taxi. We were about to cross the bridge when 2 strangers wanted to send us back home. They're girls. So no worries. When my sis told Yiings about it. She was like, "Omg, don't be deceived by them". Lol, it is true and I even told my sis that but there were not many options. Sitting a cab is far more dangerous than sitting 2 girl's car right?

While waiting for their friend to come, an Indian guy beside talked to me. He was really really nice, and he speaks English. Lol, I always have good feelings towards people who speak English to me. I wanted to talk to him more, but the car came. So a guy fetched us back home. On the way back, we talked to them. Turned out they're Tarcians and one of them even lost her phone. Damn coincidence coz we both lost at the same spot. Haha. Anyway, the whole neighborhood was really quiet by the time we reached home, which was about 2.40am that time.
It was certainly one of the best outing to start year 2008.

Throughout The Year 2007

January

• The start of the year is always the best. I was working at the contact centre with Jin. I had one of the best moments over here and one of the worst as well. With all the late nights, weekends, holidays, a few days before NS, I finally received 4 pay cheques. (for 3 months). Thanks to Hp, it did boost up my confidence in communicating with strangers and customers. Not to mention got scolded by those demanding customers. The worst one I got was the time when we moved up to 18th floor, and all the VIPS were there. They can even hear what she was yelling. I rmb the times when Jin and I were in the pantry, eating nasi lemak, currypuffs and all. I rmb the times when we all slacked during weekends to get extra pay. I loved using the phone and the cisco. Everyday there would be a call from him, asking me to log orders. I guess that's how we started.
  

February

• Had a lot of fun for CNY. The good thing was we only had a day trip to Pahang.
  
  
  March - May
  
  
• SPM result day. I was standing at the right from the back. No chance of seeing me, coz I was blocked! Haha. I will always rmb the night before that day. As usual, we compete with one another. This time I lost to him. Haha, but nvm.
  
  
  
• From: Lee, Yen Yen
  Sent: Friday, March 09, 2007 2:21 PM
  To: Anantha, Samuel; Chen, Chin Huang; Chan, Nicholas; Chuah, Choon Yean; Ng, Yow Yuen; Pua, Wy Kent; Yen, Kok Wee; Tan, Meng Huat; Wong, Kok Hoe
  Subject: BYE BYE~
  
  

  Harloooo everyone….!! =)

  Never expected yesterday was my last day. Suddenly Virginia called up and said.. “Yen-yen, today last day can?” I was like…WAT?? Been waiting to leave HP for ever soooo long. Who ever wonder that I actually dun wanna leave.. hahaha. (>.<) But what can I do? Just agree only la….Besides, she gave me something more than I expected. LOL…

  
  To Sam :-

  Luckily I have you to teach me how to handle SG Contact. After Elly la..^^ He can even answer all the weird questions. ( HP Pavillion etc ) Haha, I dun even have a clue about those stuffs.. Sam, Thanks for all your great help.. Lol, and you don’t even seem to mind even though I bother you sooo much.. =) For having such a slow learner like me, I still don’t understand how you can be that patient. ^^

  
  To Daniel :-

  Keep up with all your games!! Hahaha, especially final fantasy =P Make sure you do your Master List properly okie? Or not Virginia will slaughter you. Never realize that doin ML can be soo stress-ing.. All depend on you on that list some more... haahaha.. But after today, you dun need to care ANYTHING bout that ANYMORE… enjoy your trip with your friends!!

  
  To Nicholas :-

  As what Jonathan wrote bout you..I sorta have to agree with him…hahaha.. VERY quiet person, yet VERY nice.. =) I think I can count the times you and I ever spoken to each other.. LOL, anyway, thanks for printing all the stuffs for me..hahaha…if wanna scold me.. better blame rachel.. she told me wan.. LOl, just kidding.. Btw, that present yesterday is only for me =P dun try to snatch it away.. haha

  
  To CCY :-

  ~*Just Smile and There’s Nothin You Cant Overcome*~

  Familiar to you?? LOL.. Remember that okie?? Stop with your cool-ness and smile..=)

  LOL, really got that kind of phobia meh?? Hahaha.. so DAMN weird…and funny.. No wonder you nvr talk to me.. LOL… and stop with your ‘okie’ also. Hahaha..why copy me??? Hmmm.. Wanna know my LAST WORDS??? Hahahha…

  ‘I am finally free from CCY forever’ No more “Chua here ar..can cancel this order for me ar?? The order id is…” = =

  
  To YY and Gary :-

  This is the 1^st time I’ve seen guys as noisy as the two of you…both also same species.. LOL, always kacau me when I play game ar…call cust ar…siao siao dei wan…hahhaa... I remember the time when u all move up to superdome…walau, sooooo noisy. LOL.. hahaha.. I some more thought I wont talk to you guys, coz my cantonese sux… ^^

  One day we go sri rampai pasar malam and eat stinky tau fu okie?? LOL…after you guys come back from Kuantan and Rompin la.. Eh, actually hor.. I still dunno who draw the ugly pig in the board.. and I got say I like to eat BAK KUT TEH???

  
  

  To Daniel Mak :-

  I VERY seldom talk to you hor..hahhaa..i also dunno why… maybe we both not ngam. And you sit sooo far away from me ma..how to talk…and you ar , better faster run away ar…dun let Virginia call you and do work again..^^ LOL, Sherryl Yeap Eu Jin is your mother ar?? I now only know..hahaha...

  
  
  To the Rest..dun think I’ve forgotten bout you all :-

  
  Meng Huat :- Thanks for all your mails you sent..haih to free already ar you?? And thanks for calling some of the 17”LCD cust as well..

  
  Joshua :- YOU… were the cause for me to move up to superdome…coz you were sitting on my PLACE = =

  
  To all VIPS sales agents…

  Don’t forget something…or you might not even know… I’ve logged all your orders before…. dunno how many hundreds I did already.. so better rmb me… =)

  P/s : Thanks guys…

• National Service
  
  
  My gang! Yi Ping, Me, Jolin, Mato and Halo..

During Open Day. My family were watching me! I was in the middle. Sort of. Lol,

My roommates! CA4 Yeah!

Alpha girls~

The last day for Shwu Ying and I.

• Ti-Ratana Welfare Society! We were with St John guys. Sweat.
  

June

A visit to brother Junlin's house.

Happy 2nd Anniversary. Heartz Maple forever

July

Duckie's Birthday. We're the animal family!

August

Trip to Aussie!

September

MUFY Talent Quest. We suck to the max. Haha. Go Teen Hoppers~

October

Genting Trip.

My Birthday at Pavilion

Tom's Birthday

• Halloween Night

The Phantom and the Witches

Cool!!

• Pasar Malam Night
  

• Grandfather's Birthday

• Erica's Birthday
  

December

• Yoong's Birthday