Cover On My Heart

His words got me thinking that time. I feel it's like so true, but yet... I don't know. I cant just be myself, I don't even know who am I. Easy for you to say, but it's always has been easier said than done right? I care bout how others feel or think bout me. I acted like I don't care but I really do. Why does it always has to be like this? Why can't I be like others; others who are more ****. I don't want to him to dread coming with me. That's why i prefer to be alone. Why can't I be more like her? She can just chat bout anything to anyone. Lol, I admit I'm a little jealous. She can easily tell stories bout her life to others, she can easily get ppl's attention. I feel like I'm just a shadow to her u know? Sort of second best or something. I actually felt happy when he msg me instead of her first. But the others...?? Lol, I also admit I do feel hurt and lonely sometimes, especially after we bought The Outsiders, after I returned home earlier, and especially after classes. Somehow or rather, I feel she always wants to sit in the middle, I wanted her to move.. but she would just stay at her place no matter how little space I have to go in. Wth? What kind of friend am I? Talking behind her back. Is this called backstabbing? =X But undeniably she's a really really good friend though.I got to know a guy, Joel in the bus today. We went back together. He's a really nice guy. =) It's easier to communicate with him, even though I knew him for like few minutes?

Anywayz, Joel's passion is to get to know more about ppl, what's within us, and help them. So touching. It suddenly reminded me bout A Walk To Remember, where her passion is to witness a miracle. Her miracle was that main character, how she had helped him from being bad to good. I love love that movie so much..really beautiful.. She's so lucky to have a guy like him.Talking bout the other guy, my god, I don't want him to go back with him. What if there's no topic to talk about? What if we just stay silent throughout the journey? What if he finds me really boring? Either we just don't click, or I hardly know him yet, or maybe coz I kept on comparing myself and her. The good thing is, I don't feel awkward anymore when when there's just 2 person. =) So KL, I already overcome one of my weaknesses.